Winning the Fear Battle
The first step in overcoming fear during labor and delivery is to figure out where your anxiety lies. You can do this by keeping a journal or talking about your fears with a trusted friend, midwife or doula. Then you can take action to restructure, or turn around, your anxious thoughts. You can talk about this with us in person or over email – sometimes just voicing a fear or writing it down is enough to release it. Email us anytime with your fears at doulas@getbabied.com – we’ll help you work it out.
Acta Obstetrica Journal had a study to isolate the most common causes of fear before and during labor. Anxiety over the delivery was related to lack of trust in the obstetrical staff (73%), fear of own incompetence (65%), fear of death of mother, infant or both (55%), intolerable pain (44%) or loss of control (43%).
So you can break these down one at a time. The biggest one is lack of trust in OB and hospital staff. Find a practice that you can trust that has your interest in mind, and their practices are non-interventionist childbirth. If you aren’t confident in your OB choice, and aren’t able to switch, that’s reason to have a doula for your labor. You can inherently trust a doula – we don’t work for anybody but you – we have no other interest and don’t report to the doctor or hospital administration – you’re our boss.
I know a lot of VBAC mamas have issue on the second one – “I don’t know if I can do it”. You can do it. 60-80% of VBACs are successful – especially with doctors with low c-section rates. So the stats are on your side, and we’re going to continue to remind you throughout your labor that you can do it. We’ve seen many successful VBACS and we are believers. For everybody else – we believe in you too, and there’s never a doubt in our minds that you can’t do it, and we’ll remind you of that constantly. We’ve seen more than 200 births, and the body is strong and powerful and miraculous.
Fear of death – is statistically an irrational fear- mortality of baby is 0.06% of all births, and for mother 0.0001% – it’s more likely that you win the lottery (Texas lotto pick 4: 0.006% of winning). Go buy a ticket. Tell them Ame the doula sent you.
Fear of pain – real – but the pain of labor is one that builds – it starts small and grows, so your body builds up it’s own endorphins gradually to deal with this, also, contractions only last for one minute – so you can tell your self you can do anything for a minute. That’s it. One minute. And hire a doula – and we’re going to use all of our tricks to get you comfortable so you can manage these one minute blips in a relaxed and comfortable labor jouney.
Fear of loss of control – also real – loss of control happens. And it’s ok – we as doulas are going to keep you grounded, and bring you back anytime you lose it. It’s not something that spirals out of control, we catch it and keep it in check and get you back in to your labor zone. It’s hard to control something as unpredicatable as birth, so knowing that it is unpredictable going in helps you not to set up unrealistic expectations. If you don’t expect to have total control, then you won’t be afraid to lose something you don’t have.
Another one that is often specific to VBAC mamas is fear of having another C-section – Factors known to reduce C-section risk include having a doula (reduces risk by more than 50%) and choosing a doctor and hospital with a low C-section rate. Plan for a vaginal delivery, but work on accepting that a C-section may be the safer delivery method if complications occur, and that’s totally OK.
4 Ways To Fight The Fear
1. Avoid horror stories. Don’t watch overdramatized childbirth shows on TV, and ask people not to share their negative experiences.
2. Find the facts. Learn about normal labor and delivery, as well as the actual vs. imaginary risks.
3. Learn to relax. Meditation, deep breathing, yoga and guided imagery can help, as can long baths and peaceful walks.
4. Ask for support. Tell others how you feel, and spend time with supportive people who make you feel strong and confident.
The last two are most relevant for fear as it bubbles up in labor. If you have a fear, voice it there, let’s talk about it, and it will float away. And we will do our best to help you relax during labor – that’s our job. If your fears can float away, and your body is relaxed, you will have an empowered and positive experience regardless of the outcome.



