No, I don’t want a stretchy dress, I want a swimsuit damn it!
Seriously mama’s… why does searching for a maternity suit make a woman need a martini more than ever? Unfortunately, pregnancy means virgin martini which basically equals olive juice, so I’ll pass this time, thanks anyway.
Here’s the deal. I’m 18 weeks and counting and just want to keep on swimming… after all it is the workout for us pregers. I have searched all the maternity stores in Austin and continue to type in “maternity swimwear” in google with the hopes that something new will pop up. Nope, nothing new. And, the idea of having to buy a suit online seems ridiculous… I mean, I couldn’t shop online pre-pregnancy, and now with my unsure, ever-changing size I am supposed to click “checkout”?
What I have found are all the same; from dress-like nun frocks to horizontal stripes, some hideous prints to horrible fabric. Oh, and the kicker is that many of the suits don’t even have bra support! Hello swimsuit designers, our boobs are rapidly growing and filling with some tasty warm milk! And last I checked milk has some weight to it, hence my boobs do too!
Why am I being forced to turn in my cute or sexy for pregnancy? I know I could go the bikini route, but honestly, I’m in my 30’s now, on kid number 2 and just feel a little more modest now. All I am asking for is something a little higher cut on the legs, lower cut in the back, maybe some front plunge and some support for these giant puppies! Do I really have to become a fashion designer to be able to walk with sexy confidence in a maternity suit?
I beg of you maternity swimsuit designers; don’t make us turn in cute and sexy for a baby.